Parenting

The usual morning mayhem

This morning started off so well. We were up early, the girls were washed and dressed and I was showered by the time Mr Totsy and Milly left at half seven. We had nearly an hour and half until school started. What could possibly go wrong?

Thinking I was on top of everything was my first mistake. My second mistake was suggesting we walk to school and take Tinker’s scooter, which we have never attempted before.

To be fair there was no big drama, nothing really went wrong, it was the normal routine, Totsy ate her porridge without fuss, Tinker refused to eat her cereal until I had topped up the milk twice (because I hadn’t put the precise required amount in, silly mummy, getting it perfect is an exact science – one I usually fail at) but then she managed a few mouthfuls (result!) I dried my hair and put some make up on (obviously because there are young children around, can’t have them scared by my bare face, it’s not Halloween yet) I ran up and down stairs approximately 63 times, brushed hair, put hair clips in, put fruit and a water bottle in Tinkers bag, brushed their teeth (while Tinker pulled ridiculous faces more suited to people being actually tortured) and even remembered to put the reply slip for parent’s evening in her bag. 

So far so good. 

Before I knew it, it was 8.10. We needed to leave soon if we were to have the nice relaxed walk to school I had imagined with Tinker scooting happily along, the girls laughing together, stopping to collect leaves for a nature picture later (oh ok, so I’d settle for not having to walk at a pace that could qualify me for the power walking World Championship, Tinker not whinging after 3 steps that her legs are tired and the girls not squabbling because Totsy had grabbed a handful of Tinker’s hair).

But as parents everywhere know as soon as you want to leave the house with kids you enter another time dimension.

Suddenly, things got a bit more tense. I started my usual mantra of ‘If you don’t hurry up we are going to be late’ getting slightly more frantic every time I said it. There was a bit more running up and downstairs from me to find Totsy’s shoes, she was popped into her pushchair, all fine. But then where were Tinker’s school shoes? Oh no. They were nowhere to be seen. Cue me rushing around the whole house like a madwoman, screeching ‘Where are your shoes? They can’t have just disappeared into thin air!’ One was located on a shelf in the hall under my handbag, the other one was a bit more elusive but finally was recovered from behind a floor cushion in the living room (I blame Totsy as she has a shoe obsession at the moment, other people’s shoes are her favourite thing to put on). Finally Tinker’s feet were jammed into her shoes, her coat was on (then taken off to remove her cardigan because she hates layers then put back on again) and we just had to get her scooter and leave. 

By now it was almost half past 8. I’d got a bit of a sweat on after the shoe search. My blow dried hair had started to frizz. School started in 25 minutes. If I walk really fast and Tinker stays on the buggy board it’s a good 25 minute walk to school. The scooter added an unknown quantity to the school run. Should we risk it? Well, basically, there would be a huge meltdown if I back tracked on the scooter, so risking it was really the only option. 

The result? Tinker stayed on her scooter for just long enough that we were too far from the house to take it back. She then declared her legs too tired and jumped on the buggy board. I rolled my eyes a lot, muttered under my breath and jammed the bloody scooter underneath the buggy then walked the rest of the way with the scooter handle dragging on the buggy wheel (which wasn’t at all annoying). I broke the power walking world record. I got to school a sweaty mess but half a minute before the bell went.

We will go in the car tomorrow. 

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